Why Do We Miss Someone Who Never Existed?
Have you ever cried over a fictional character?
Or felt an unexplainable emptiness after finishing a novel or a drama?
The strange thing is... you know they never truly existed. They were never born. They never breathed. Perhaps they were nothing more than words on a page.
So why does losing them feel so real?
When you think about it, isn't that a little strange?
We spend weeks—sometimes even months—following the life of someone who never actually lived.
We smile when they find happiness...
We get angry when they're treated unfairly...
We hold our breath when they're in danger...
And then...
When their story comes to an end...
There's an emptiness that's difficult to explain.
Even though we know it was all fiction.
So...
Is our heart simply being fooled?
Or...
Does the heart never really care whether someone is real?
Perhaps we've always believed that love and attachment can only grow through physical presence.
Through real conversations.
Through touch.
Through meeting someone face to face.
But isn't every emotion born from a story?
When someone tells us about their difficult childhood, we feel compassion.
When we read the news about someone we've never met, we still feel sadness.
Even a song whose lyrics have nothing to do with our own life can suddenly bring tears to our eyes.
If that's true...
Then perhaps what makes a connection feel real isn't a person's existence—
but the emotions they leave behind.
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Do we truly miss the character?
Or do we miss the feelings they awakened within us?
Perhaps they made us feel understood.
They gave us hope when life was falling apart.
They became a place to return to whenever the world felt unbearably loud.
And when their story ended...
It wasn't only them who left.
A small part of us quietly said goodbye too.
Maybe that's why a book can feel like home.
Why a drama can become a memory.
Why a fictional character can feel like an old friend.
The more we think about it, the harder it becomes to tell what we actually miss.
Do we miss them?
Or...
Do we miss the version of ourselves that existed while we were living inside their story?
Every story enters our lives at a different moment.
Some arrive when we're falling in love.
Some find us while we're grieving.
Some become the only place we can escape to when reality feels too heavy to bear.
So when the story finally ends...
Perhaps what remains isn't just the memory of the characters.
It's also the memory of who we were when we met them.
And maybe that's why some fictional characters never truly leave us.
They continue living in a place no one can ever touch...
Within our memories.
Between the lines we've once read.
And in the quiet corners of our hearts that changed because of them.
So tell me...
Can we truly miss someone who never existed?
Or is it the version of ourselves—one that once lived alongside them—that we long for?
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Before You Go...
If you've ever closed a book and sat in silence, wondering why your chest suddenly felt so heavy...
If you've ever missed someone who never truly existed...
Perhaps these stories are waiting for you, too.
When Breath Becomes Air (memoir, non fiction)
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